A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on
a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered
their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi
arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don’t want the cat shut in the house because “she” always
tries to eat the  bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the
husband goes inside to get the cat.

The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
The wife doesn’t want the driver to know the house will be empty.She
explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon.”He’s just
going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. “Sorry I took so
long,” he says, as they drive away.

“Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat
hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a  blanket to
keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”

The cabdriver hit a parked car…